Sins of the Father
by Piscean6724
Summary: When a late night run brings Station 51 to the rescue of Roy and his unknown female passenger will his marriage survive? Will John be forced to choose sides? Mild language
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Emergency! and characters belong to Mark VII and Universal Studios

Sins of the Father - 1

The station was quiet except for the slight snoring of some of the men of "B" shift. Johnny was accustomed to the snores of his regular crew but he was filling in for another paramedic and just couldn't sleep now. He got up, pulled himself into his turnout gear and wandered to the kitchen. A tall glass of milk might help. He glanced at the clock. _Damn, 4 am, _he thought as he finished up his milk and placed the glass in the sink. He would wash it before shift change. He began to lumber back toward the dorm when the klaxons sounded.

_Station 51, traffic accident with injuries at 8455 Telegraph Rd. That's 8455 Telegraph Rd. Cross Street, Manzanar Ave. Time out 0404._

"KMG365" came the captain's acknowledgement and with that the crew of Station 51 began their run.

They arrived at the scene quickly and the two paramedics rushed to the two vehicles. Johnny chose the pick-up truck while the other paramedic hurried to the sedan. The driver of the sedan had a few lacerations on his face but was otherwise uninjured. He was slow in his movements and there was an obvious scent of alcohol floating around in the car. The back floorboard confirmed the paramedic's suspicion. It was piled up with beer cans and a half empty vodka bottle. This victim would be taken to Rampart by way of patrol car. He then ran over to offer his assistance to John.

John had recognized the pick-up truck immediately. It was the blue Chevrolet belonging to his best friend and "A" shift partner, Roy DeSoto. _Pally, what the hell were you two doing out here at this time of the night? _He wondered to himself. He realized the steering column had been broken by the impact of Roy's left knee and knew that he probably had a broken leg. He was at least wearing his seatbelt but he'd still taken a jolt rendering him unconscious at the moment. Johnny then ran to the other side of the vehicle to check on Joanne but as he opened the door and used his flashlight to better illuminate the inside of the cab, he realized quickly that Roy's passenger was not Joanne. She was much younger than Joanne and her hair was longer. It was dark brown with auburn highlights pulled back into a loose ponytail tied with a white scarf. Her face was covered in blood from a large laceration just beyond her hairline. When he lifted her eyelids to check her pupils, he was staring into crystal blue eyes, not Joanne's clover green ones. He began to work on her taking her vitals and assessing what he'd need to get her out as his current partner had taken over with Roy. Johnny was numb; he was operating purely on his instincts as one of the best paramedics in the county. He couldn't believe the thoughts that were racing through his mind. Roy had obviously been making a left hand turn into the hotel parking lot when the driver of the sedan had rear-ended him; sending his pickup careening into a brick wall beside the hotel. _Roy, I knew something was wrong with you but why didn't you talk to me. How could you do this to Joanne, Roy how?_

His silent questions would not get answered tonight but he wouldn't let Roy do this to Joanne without a fight. Johnny loved Joanne like a sister and Roy was like a brother to him. He would NOT stand by and watch this happen to their marriage without doing what he could to intervene.

The ambulances arrived and Johnny told his partner that he'd prefer to ride in with Roy. The other paramedic understood and voiced what Johnny hoped the man was thinking.

"Um, John….I know how this looks and I promise you man, I won't breathe a word of it to anyone, alright?"

"Thanks, I…uh….I appreciate that," came John's reply. They each climbed into the back of the ambulance with their respective patient and headed off to Rampart.

During the brief ride, Roy began to mumble something about someone named Danielle. Johnny tried to keep him quiet but he was growing more and more agitated. Johnny did the only thing he could do at the moment. "Sshhh, Roy. Danielle will be fine. She's on her way to Rampart too." He felt like he was betraying Joanne by even saying those words but he had to keep Roy calm and as still as possible. He let out a huge sigh as the driver made the familiar turn into Rampart Emergency and backed up to the ER doors. _What am I supposed to tell Joanne?" _He thought to himself.

-x-

Johnny was sitting in the break room at Rampart waiting for news on Roy. The Captain of "B" shift had released him from duty after contacting one of the "C" shift paramedics and getting him to relieve John early. He was staring into his coffee when Dixie walked in.

"Hey Johnny, Roy's being moved to a room now," Dixie said while placing a sympathetic hand on the paramedic's shoulder.

"Oh, thanks, Dix" he responded.

"Have you gotten in touch with Joanne?"

"No Dix, I haven't." He really had tried to reach her by phone but there was no answer at Roy's residence. "Please Dix, let me contact her, ok?"

Dix nodded her agreement and led the two of them out and towards the elevator. The ride to the 3rd floor was silent. Only the sound of the opening doors broke the silence and snapped John back out of his thoughts. They walked quickly to room 312 which was a private room and walked in.

Roy was lying motionless with his eyes closed. John wasn't sure if he was asleep or just resting. He wanted to reach out and pat him on the shoulder as if to say "hey pal, everything's going to be ok" but John couldn't even do that much for his friend. His emotions were warring inside of him. He was angry at him and worried about him at the same time. Roy's injuries would heal. He had a broken left fibula and a slight concussion. He was sedated due to the fracture. John just sat there staring at the still form of his best friend; trying to remember how things had spiraled so out of control.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Emergency! and it's characters belong to Mark VII and Universal Studios

Sins of the Father 2

Three weeks earlier…

Station 51 was abuzz with activity as "C" shift was departing and "A" shift was arriving. The scent of freshly brewing coffee made its way into the locker room as the guys of "A" shift were changing into their uniforms. Chet had parked his VW van in the parking space John usually occupied; even though there were no assigned parking spots.  
>"Look Chet" said Johnny accusingly, "all I'm saying is that a man needs his space."<p>

"But Gage, you have your own space; right up there buddy" remarked Chet pointing to John's head.

"Chet, you're a barrel of laughs - you know that?" asked the slightly offended Gage.

The last two men were heading out of the locker room, still ranting about the parking spot, when they both heard Cap announcing roll call.

"Ok men, not much to go over this morning. Looks like "C" shift had a quiet night so let's hope that trend continues." Hank was looking at his clipboard and began calling out morning chores for the guys. After he'd finished, he looked at Roy.

"Hey Roy, this came for you yesterday," said Hank as he lifted a small envelope off his clipboard and handed it to his senior paramedic.

"Oh, uh thanks, Cap." Roy said with a confused look on his face. He stuffed the envelope in his shirt pocket and headed to the kitchen to start his chores but was soon interrupted by the klaxons.

_Station 51 automobile accident with injuries at the intersection of South Wilmington Ave. and East 220__th__ St. That's South Wilmington Ave. and East 220th St. Time out 0832._

"KMG365" came the response of Captain Hank Stanley as the men quickly rushed to their seats in the emergency vehicles and made the left turn out of the station.

-X-

The squad and engine pulled up alongside a crowd that had gathered near one of the light poles at the intersection. A navy blue station wagon had swerved to miss a small red VW convertible that was making a legal left turn. The VW had not been impacted but the station wagon had sustained severe damage. The driver was a bit woozy on his feet so Vince Howard, deputy, had made him sit on the opposite curb. The driver's son was entrapped in the crumbled front seat. His side of the vehicle had sustained the majority of the impact. He was unconscious and bleeding heavily from a neck wound.

"Hey Roy, we got a bleeder over hear," shouted Johnny with an extreme sense of urgency in his voice. He was leaning inside the driver's side door checking out his young patient. He applied as much pressure as he could to the boy's neck wound while he waited for his partner to bring the supplies he needed. "Hang on, young man" he said to his patient. "Just please hang on."

At the curb, Hank was asking the driver questions to determine his sense of orientation.

"Sir" he began, "do you remember what day this is?"

"What the hell kind of question is that" slurred the answer. "I'm not in kindergarten, you know!" The driver was being belligerent but the fact that he didn't answer the question did not escape the knowing eyes of both Vince and Captain Stanley.

"Sir, I need some information from you on your son." The comment came from Vince as Hank returned to the scene to see how his paramedics were doing with the boy.

Hank found that his men had already freed the boy and had him strapped to a backboard. He walked beside them as they moved him to a vacant area near the squad while awaiting the ambulance. Roy began his assessment while Johnny contacted Rampart on the biophone.

"Rampart, this is squad 51…how do you read?"

"Go ahead 51" came Dr. Morton's voice.

Vince handed Johnny a piece of paper as he was beginning to give his report to Dr. Morton.

"Rampart, we have a male, age 9 years. He's the victim of a TA. He has a laceration on the side of his neck that appears to have nicked his jugular. We have applied pressure to the wound but he lost a lot of blood before we arrived. "

Marco had taken over holding pressure to the wound so Roy could begin taking vitals. Johnny turned to Roy to get the information to relay to Rampart. Roy answered without ever looking up. Johnny repeated them to Dr. Morton.

"Rampart, BP is 96/58; the left pupil is blown but the right appears normal; respirations are 20 and shallow and pulse is 120. He has a contusion on the back of his head. Rampart, he is unconscious and does not respond to pain stimuli."

"51 start an IV with Ringers Lactate. Immobalize his head and neck and bring him in as fast as you can."

"10-4 Rampart"

Johnny rode in with the boy as Roy drove the squad to Rampart to meet him. The father refused treatment at the scene but Vince did transport him to Rampart in his patrol car. After all, it was easy to see that the boy's father had been responsible for the accident. The charges he'd face would be determined by the boy's physical outcome once he arrived at the hospital.

Roy gave the ambulance the customary two slaps to indicate the occupants in the back were secured and ready for transport. He then headed back to the squad and pulled out following closely behind as the two vehicles made their way to Rampart.

-x-

Roy restocked their supplies while Johnny was still with their patient in treatment room 2. He poked his head in to see the bustling activity and knew that his partner would be busy with this one for a while. He caught Johnny's attention and signaled that he'd be waiting for him in the squad. That would give him time to read the mystery letter Cap had given him this morning.

Forty-five minutes later, John came out with a rather dejected look on his face. He reached for the door handle and noticed that his partner had a letter in his hands but he wasn't reading it. Instead, he was just sitting in the cab of the squad looking catatonic.  
>"Fan mail?" Johnny teased.<p>

"Um, no…I mean yea, kind of…so how's the kid?" Roy asked seriously trying to change the subject. He wasn't ready to even think about the contents of the letter.  
>"Well, he's headed up to surgery now. Morton doesn't think his chances are too good though." Johnny was now sitting with his elbow out the passenger window and leaning slightly sideways towards his partner. "You won't believe what this guy did, Roy. He's been up - awake - for 48 hours working to make money for him and his son. He's been widowed for 4 years now and he has a gambling problem. He needed the extra money just to pay the mortgage. Can you believe that, Roy? He fell asleep around 6:30 this morning and the school bus stopping at his house is what woke him up. He had to rush to get Michael up and then tried to drive him to school because he missed the bus. I mean, Roy, what kind of father does that and endangers his son's life?" Johnny squinted into the sun as he was looking at Roy. He got no answer.<p>

"Roy, are you ok?" asked Johnny.

Again, he got no answer. Roy was just numbly driving the squad back to the station. Johnny decided to wait until a little later and try to talk to Roy. This was highly unusual for Roy and Johnny was worried about him but he didn't want to harass him.

-x-

Two weeks later…..

"Kids" Joanne yelled, "in the car NOW!"

Joanne was exhausted from scrubbing the kitchen floor and doing laundry. It was already noon and she still had a lot more to do. Right now, though, she needed her two children to get into the car so they could get this week's grocery shopping done. Her patience was wearing thin. Just as she was about to go after them the phone rang.

"DeSoto residence" she answered, trying her best not to sound as irritated as she actually was at the moment.

"Uhm," she heard a distinctly female voice on the other end of the line.

"May I help you?" asked Joanne politely.

"Yes," came the more assured voice, "May I speak to Roy DeSoto, please?"

"He isn't here at the moment. May I take a message" Joanne said but quickly added, "I'm his wife."

Why had she felt the need to say that? She was accustomed to people calling her residence to thank Roy for some good deed or another but for some reason this woman's voice gave her a feeling of uneasiness.

"Uh, no..no that's ok. No message. Thanks." And with that Joanne heard a click as the unknown caller hung up. _Wonder what that was all about?_

At that moment, Chris came into the room followed by his little sister. Joanne was still standing there staring at the phone. When she noticed the children waiting near the door, she grabbed her purse and together they headed to the grocery store.

-x-

Danielle sat in her hotel room with tears streaming down her face as she stared out the window to the busy street below. Her first phone call to his residence hadn't gone as expected. She had so hoped he'd answer the phone when she called but he hadn't. Instead she was left stammering like an idiot to the man's wife.

_Geez, Danielle, get it together._ _Joanne will find out soon enough anyway_, she thought_. Why didn't you just blab out who you were? _But she knew the answer to that question. It wasn't Danielle's place to tell her. It was Roy's. She'd keep her distance from the family until he was ready. She already loved him and cared about him that much. No, she wouldn't cause problems at home for him, if she could help it.

-x-

Joanne made it through the rest of her day as though nothing had happened. But when she settled into her bed that night – the one she shared with her husband and best friend – she began to cry. Roy had been very distant in the last couple of weeks. She ran her hands over the empty space that he normally occupied. Her mind began to carry her back to the many nights they'd spent huddled in each other's embrace after making love. She thought of the tender way he caressed her face as he pulled it gently toward his own and his lips sought out hers. She thought of the passion and longing they both felt for each other and how afterwards, nearly breathless, he'd always whisper into her ear…'love you, Jo'. How long had it been since they'd made love? Three weeks maybe? It had been much too long but each time she'd tried to initiate it lately, Roy had rejected her. What was happening to them? Their love had produced two beautiful children and together they'd created a wonderful home. But lying here alone now she couldn't get the caller's voice to leave her thoughts. She suddenly felt lonely without Roy at home. She'd been a firefighter's wife for several years now so she was used to sleeping alone every third night while Roy was on shift. Why was this night any different? Eventually, exhaustion took over at around three in the morning and she slipped into sleep.

-x-


	3. Chapter 3

Sins of the Father -3

One week later….

Roy tried to sleep but couldn't. _Why can't this be a night full of runs? _ He thought to himself. He needed the distraction from the confusion and worry that had overtaken him since he read the letter from Danielle. Finally, he couldn't take the stress any longer. He got up as quietly as he could and walked into the locker room. He pulled out the letter Cap had given him a few weeks ago. He began reading it again. She was here in Los Angeles. She had told him the date she'd arrive and the hotel she'd be staying at while here. She had said she'd leave it up to him if he wanted to meet her there but she really hoped that he would. He stood and slowly walked toward the dayroom. He'd have to talk to Danielle on that phone so no one would overhear their conversation.

-x-

Danielle, in a foggy haze somewhere between sleeping and wakefulness, reached for the ringing phone.

"Hello" she answered.

"Danielle?...um, this is Roy."

She bolted upright in bed. He had gotten her letter and he was calling her. Yes, it was at three in the morning but just hearing his voice made her heart flutter and her breath get caught in her throat.

"Hi, Roy…..I'm so glad you called me." There was a moment of silence but then they both began to speak and the conversation lasted much longer than Roy had intended. He also didn't realize that his voice was carrying outside the wall of the dayroom. He had no idea that Johnny was awake and was listening to Roy's side of the conversation.

-x-

John felt like a heel. When Roy woke up and left the dorm, Johnny had gotten worried about him. He'd been very quiet in recent weeks. Something was wrong and Johnny wanted to help him but didn't know how. He'd asked Roy to talk to him several times but each time Roy had refused. He'd even refused to have breakfast with him after his last shift. He needed to get through to his partner somehow but the urgency of the situation had really been bumped up when Johnny had received a phone call from a distraught Joanne a couple of nights ago.

When they arrived at the station this morning, Roy wouldn't even look at him. He refused to speak even when Johnny prodded. They'd made it through their runs as professional as ever but everyone was noticing that there was serious tension between the former best friends. Now here was Johnny standing outside the dayroom listening to Roy talk to a person who was obviously the "other" woman and it nauseated him.

Johnny thought back to the call from Joanne. She'd said that Roy was in the shower at the moment and she asked if she could meet Johnny somewhere to talk about Roy. Of course, he'd immediately agreed, and they'd managed to meet at Johnny's apartment the following day. Roy had taken the kids to the park to spend some time with them freeing her up to do some shopping…..or so she'd told Roy.

Joanne had been crying when she arrived and John immediately embraced her in a friendly hug. She lost control of her emotions again and they just stood in his living room; John holding Joanne while she cried. Johnny hated it when women cried but he especially hated it when he loved the woman doing the crying. He did love Joanne just like a sister. When she had finally gotten control of her tears, he invited her to sit down. She began to tell him all her concerns about Roy finishing with the most intimate details of their now nonexistent sex life. Johnny just sat there in stunned silence. He knew something was wrong but had no idea what it could be ….and Roy was not saying.

"Oh Johnny….." cried Joanne. "I think he's seeing someone else."

Johnny didn't know what to say. The old Roy would never even consider straying from his marital vows but he felt like he really didn't even know the current Roy. What could he possibly say?

"Joanne, please don't do this to yourself. We don't know that anything is going on." He knew how hollow that sounded but he had no idea what he could say that would be both honest and helpful.

"Well, I've been thinking about me and the kids visiting with my mother for a few days." Saying it out loud, Joanne realized that there was no way to make this sound like anything other than what it was – a separation.

"Oh Joanne, has it really gotten that bad?"

"Yes, Johnny it has!" she sobbed again. "Will you, um, ….you know….kinda keep a check on him for me?"

"Well, yea…of course. Have you told him?" John figured she had but he felt the need to ask.

"No, not yet. I will when he and the kids get back. I'm not telling the kids anything though. As far as they know, they'll just be going to grandma's for a visit while school's out for the summer."

John could only nod his understanding. How was he going to be there for Roy when his world came crashing down? Then again, maybe it was Joanne's world that was crashing…

Joanne stood up to leave. Johnny walked her to the door. He opened it for her then was surprised when she turned around and embraced him again. He held her for a long moment and felt her tremble beneath his arms. She leaned forward and whispered in his ear. "Johnny, I DO still love him."

"I know, Joanne. He still loves you too. I know he does." He hoped she believed him because if truth be told, he wasn't sure he believed himself.

-x-

Johnny was so lost in the memory of his visit with Joanne that he didn't hear Roy end the conversation with Danielle. Roy didn't move though. He just stood there thinking about the events of a couple of days ago and remembering just how frightened he'd been – both by what he saw and of his own resulting anger.

Roy remembered glancing over at the sleeping kids in the cab of his pick-up. The time at the park had really worn them out. He hoped Johnny was at home. He needed to talk with someone about Danielle and he only trusted John. He and John could stand out beside his vehicle and talk while the kids slept. He turned onto the street that Johnny lived on and headed toward his apartment complex. When he turned in, he was shocked at what he saw. There on the balcony of Johnny's apartment stood Joanne and Johnny – wrapped up in an embrace. Roy couldn't make sense of what he was seeing; his own wife and his best friend? Joanne was supposed to be shopping. That's what she had told him when he left with the kids. He felt the bile rising into the back of his throat. His knuckles were white as his grip on the steering wheel tightened. He wanted to ram his pick-up into the apartment building to make them both fall. He wanted to hurt them and he wanted to hurt them badly. He cut a glance at the sleeping forms lying beside him. How could she do this to their kids? Hell, how could Johnny do this to them? Johnny loved Roy's kids almost as much as Roy did. He turned the wheel sharply making Chris stir a little.

"Easy Chris, just go back to sleep" he told the groggy boy. Chris's eyes never fully opened for which Roy was grateful. He had to get home before he threw up ….and before he did something really stupid...something he'd regret.

Later when Joanne returned, sans packages, he almost smarted off to her. Their daughter's presence was the only thing that kept his mouth in check. He was angrier than he'd ever been at anyone or anything in his life; but he managed to keep his temper under control.

When they were alone in their room later that night Joanne began the conversation.

"Roy," she started, "I think the kids and I will go visit my mother for a few days."

"Fine" he said and turned to walk back out the door. He hesitated with his hand on the knob and Joanne thought for a moment that he might say something. She hoped he'd beg her not to go. She wanted him to turn around and fall on one knee begging her to forgive him and lavishing her with kisses and words of his undying love and devotion for her. But he simply looked down at his hand on the doorknob; pulled it open and walked out the door.

The following morning there were no words spoken as he packed his duffle bag for the station and she packed bags for herself and the kids. He kissed each child on top of the head with tears in his eyes and told them to be good at grandma's. He never kissed Joanne good-bye and he never let her see that he was crying as he walked to his pick-up truck to head to the station.

He'd arrived at the station before most of the others on "A" shift. There was one man he did NOT want to see this morning. He had no idea how he would handle seeing Johnny again. He felt betrayed to his very core by the one man he'd never believed could hurt him like that. He was angry still but he was professional enough not to let that anger spill over onto his job.

Somehow, he'd managed to avoid all conversation with Gage today. Johnny had asked him multiple times what was wrong but he refused to answer him. Come to think of it, Johnny had been riding his case for a long time now asking what was wrong with him. _Just how long have you and Joanne been at it Johnny?_ His thoughts brought the anger back and he decided he needed to go to the latrine and splash some cold water on his face to cool himself down before going back to bed.

He pushed open the dayroom door and nearly bumped into Gage who was just standing there with a stunned expression on his face.

"You miserable piece of ….." Roy growled through gritted teeth as he lunged at Gage pinning the thinner man to the brick wall.

"Roy….hey" Johnny was caught off guard and lost his breath as Roy slammed his back into the wall. Regaining his breath he grabbed Roy's neck in the crook of his left arm as Roy continued thrashing around and throwing punches into his partner's already aching ribs.

"Damn it, Roy…..cut it out man!"

They were now rolling around on the floor of the apparatus bay exchanging blows. Johnny was on top of Roy trying to pin him to the floor when the lights suddenly came on and Johnny felt hands grabbing him and pulling him off his partner. Roy, with his mouth bleeding, was pulled up also but he was still seething at his partner.

"Gage you dirty low down motherfu"

"COOL IT….BOTH OF YOU!" The order came from Captain Stanley. Johnny was still pulling trying to free himself from Marco and Chet's firm grip while Mike was pulling Roy back toward the back of the bay.

"What the hell, Roy?"

"I said shut up, Gage!" Hank Stanley was certainly outdone with his two paramedics. He had no idea what prompted this late night altercation but he was definitely going to get to the bottom of it before it took down the entire "A" shift.

"In my office NOW, Gage" he ordered the younger man. "Marco, you stay with him."

He then turned to Mike who was still semi pushing Roy back to keep him away from Johnny.

"Roy, take a cold shower, Mike you stay with him. Chet, put us some coffee on….." he continued to mumble more to himself than to anyone in particular. He was headed to his office for a confrontation with one half of the best paramedic team he'd ever known….and that team was now in jeopardy.


	4. Chapter 4

Sins of the Father – 4

Hank took a deep breath and exhaled as he entered his office. He nodded his head at Marco indicating that the firefighter was permitted to leave the two of them alone. Marco looked down shaking his head as he exited. Hank then looked at the youngest member of his team. John was sitting in the straight-backed foldout chair backwards; his left hand resting on the seatback while his right hand protectively wrapped around his sore midsection. His forehead was positioned on his left wrist and Hank could see the beads of sweat rolling down from his temples. John could feel his superior's eyes boring holes through him and looked up. Hank immediately noticed a bruise beginning to form on John's left cheek.

"Ok John, spill it."

"Cap," Johnny began, "I have no idea what set him off like that."

"Oh come on, Gage" Hank said. "That's bullshit and you know it."

Johnny looked away then. He couldn't lie to his Captain but he couldn't betray a friend either.

"Look, Cap" Johnny licked his dry lips before continuing. "Something's up with Roy. I've been trying to talk to him for weeks now and he just shuts me out. "

Hank could see the obvious struggle his young paramedic was in while trying to relay the information.

"Cap, I really hate to tell you this but" Johnny hesitated….sighing he pressed onward….."I'm afraid Roy and Joanne are having some marital problems."

Hank had suspected as much. He knew the signs of marital discord and recognized them in his senior paramedic. He had hoped he was wrong but John was now confirming what he had wondered.

"And, uh, what makes you say that, John?"

"Cap, I really don't…I mean…just… can you trust me on this one?"

"Gage, I do trust you. I just don't get why he decided to take it out on you and why were the two of you up at this hour anyway?"

John went on to explain, as best he could, why he'd followed Roy. He truly hadn't intended to eavesdrop on his partner's sordid conversation but he had, none the less, and now knew that Roy had intended to rendezvous with some woman in the near future.

"Gage, I'd like to have you checked out at Rampart…"

"No, Cap, please don't make me do that. I swear I'm just bruised that's all. I swear it."

"Alright, alright, Johnny. It's against my better judgement but ok." Hank hoped he wouldn't later regret that decision.

"Hey Marco" Hank shouted out the door of his office. Immediately, Marco appeared from the dayroom.

"Walk with John to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. The two of you stay there until Mike comes to get you. Then John, I want you to get washed up. I'll be talking to Roy then. Marco, stay with him."

Marco nodded his understanding as Gage winced while standing. He'd gotten somewhat stiff from sitting in the chair and really needed a hot shower. He and Marco exited Cap's office and disappeared into the kitchen.

John looked at Chet with a glare that dared the shorter man to make a comment. Even Chet wasn't so cold as to do something like that though. John sat down at the table while Marco and Chet shared a silent exchange. Chet then offered Johnny some coffee while Marco filled a ziplock back with ice.

-x-

Hank stuck his head in the door of the latrine and saw Mike sitting on the bench in front of the lockers. Roy was just turning off the water of the shower and heard Cap instruct Mike to bring him to Cap's office as soon as he was dressed.

In short order, Roy was sitting in Hank's office while Mike made his way to the kitchen.

"Uh, Gage, Cap says to go wash up….and take Marco with you" Mike said looking back and forth at both men.

"Yea, I know. Thanks, Mike" Johnny replied.

Inside Cap's office, Roy was beginning to calm down. He was ashamed to be sitting here in the first place and even more ashamed of the actions that brought him to this point.

"Well, Roy" Hank began. "I've listened to John's side of the dispute. Now I want to hear your version of events."

Roy sat blankly staring at the air in between himself and his Captain. Hank gave him time to collect his thoughts. He could see his senior paramedic was in trouble and he wanted to give him the space he needed; to tell his tale in his own time. After a few moments, Roy hung his head.

"What did Johnny tell you, Cap?" he asked sincerely wanting to know how much Hank knew of his marital problems.

"That he's worried about you, basically."

"Huh, I'll just bet he is" snorted Roy

"Fine, then you tell me what he didn't, ok?" Hank asked hoping to spur Roy on with his story.

"Well, let's see, did he tell you the part about him doing my wife?" Roy blurted out, his voice louder than he meant for it to be.

Hank was stunned. He sat for a moment trying to make sense of what he'd heard Roy say. He noticed that Roy was shaking and gripping the arms of his chair so tightly that his fingernails had turned white.

"Roy, man I'm sorry about all this but what makes you think that Joanne and John are having an affair?"

"I saw'em, Cap. Saw them with my own eyes. They were locked in each other's arms on Johnny's balcony a couple of days ago."

"On his balcony? Publicly embracing? Roy, that doesn't sound like an affair. That sounds like a friendly hug." Hank hoped he wasn't making things worse but he wanted Roy to see things a little more rationally than he was currently seeing them.

"Cap, he was my best friend. I've entrusted my life to him countless times. Hell, I've entrusted my kids lives with him. I never thought he'd do something like this – never."

"Roy, have you talked to Johnny or Joanne about what you saw? I mean, it could have been a misunderstanding."

"I don't think so, Cap. She lied to me about where she was going. Now, why would she lie to me if she wasn't trying to hide something?"

"Pal, I can't answer that question but I do know that fighting on the job with your partner isn't going to solve anything either."

Roy sighed and looked up. Hank could see that Roy was on the verge of tears and knew that he was in considerable pain. Not physical pain but emotional pain. His physical wounds would heal but his heart was another matter altogether. "What will happen to us, Cap?"

"Well, you'll both get a write up for your file. And I'm pretty sure I'll have to split the two of you up; at least until we know that you can work together again….and I do hope that's a 'when' and not an 'if'. Roy, there are a lot of lives out there depending on the two of you and if you hate each other then it can't help but interfere with your ability to do your job. I won't have someone's death on my conscience because I failed to intervene. Understand?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Now, I want you and Gage to stay as far away from each other as possible for the next two hours. If we get a run then we'll deal with it. Marco can ride in the squad and Gage on the engine. If the run is for just the squad….well,…. I'll have to ask for a replacement squad."

Roy just nodded his affirmation.

"There's one more thing I want you to think about though, Roy."

Roy just waited not looking at his Captain.

"If Joanne and John are having an affair, when are they getting together? The two of you are on the same shift."

Roy sat speechless.

Hank called for Mike to come back and escort Roy to the kitchen for some coffee…..and ice for his lip. Hank sat down at his desk, pulled out the disciplinary forms and began writing.


	5. Chapter 5

Sins of the Father – 5

The rest of the shift was uneventful. Roy stayed in the dayroom with ice on his lip and Johnny stayed in the dorm sitting cross- legged on his bed watching the minutes slowly tick by. Before "B" shift arrived, Hank walked into the dorm and informed Johnny that he would be moved to "B" shift the next time their shift came around. He was the junior man so he was the one who had to be moved. Hank didn't think that John was able to pull another shift so soon. John had to agree with him.

"John, please stay put in here until Roy leaves, ok?" asked Hank; at least it sounded like a request. John knew it was an order.

"Yes sir, Cap" came the reply without Johnny ever looking at his Captain.

Hank walked slowly toward the dayroom and asked Roy to meet him in his office. Roy had no idea what he could have done to deserve a second trip to the Captain's office in as many hours. He sat down and waited for whatever was coming.

"Feeling any calmer, Roy?"

"Some" was the only response Roy gave Hank. Hank waited for a moment thinking Roy might continue but only silence followed.

"I see, well…Roy, John is the junior man so he's been moved to "B" shift. He won't be staying over this shift but will come in on the next round. Now, I expect both of you to stay away from each other off the job as well. Understood?"

"He stays away from me then I'll stay away from him," was the harsh response.

There was a lot more Hank wanted to say but right now wasn't the time. He wasn't sure either man was truly listening. He hoped the time apart would allow Roy the chance to work out his difference with Joanne…and ultimately with John.

-x-

Returning to the day of the accident…..….

The door to Roy's hospital room opened bringing Johnny out of his reverie. He turned to see Dixie returning to check on Roy and then turning her eyes on him. She nodded her head towards the door and he understood she had something to say that she didn't want Roy to overhear just in case he could hear them.

Once they were outside in the hallway she began, "Any word from Joanne?"

"No, still no answer. I can't und…..Oh no, …. Dix, she's at her mom's house. I can't believe I forgot that."

"Well, John, under these circumstances, I can see where you'd forget." She opened her mouth as if to say more but then quickly changed her mind.

John knew what she was going to ask. He couldn't blame her. He had the same questions himself.

"How's Danielle?" he finally managed. If Roy woke up and asked about her he needed to be able to give him some piece of information to keep him calm.

"Well, she's awake and stitched up. She should be discharged later on today."

Johnny just nodded without looking at anything other than the floor.

"Johnny, she asked about Roy. I told her I couldn't give her any information unless she was related. She just looked away. Johnny, I couldn't help it. I told her it looked like he'd be fine but I couldn't tell her which room he was in or anything more than that." Dixie searched Johnny for some sort of explanation but got nothing.

"Her last name is Gallager and she's from Mesa, AZ…and she's in room 218 if you need to tell her anything…" Dixie turned to leave. She'd told Johnny more than she should have but he was one of the responding paramedics and it wasn't unusual for rescuers to check in on their victims from time to time.

John pushed open the door to Roy's room and headed to the phone. He had to make a call to Joanne now…..and as much as he dreaded it, it was something that had to be done.

-x-

Joanne had heard the phone ringing just as she was getting out of bed but she was at her mother's house so she didn't answer it.

"Joanne, Honey, it's for you" she heard her mother call out from down the hallway.

_Roy, you do want me back at home don't you?_ She picked up the extension in her old bedroom and with a little too much excitement said "Hello?"

-x-

John stood with his back to Roy and walked nearer to the window. He was surprised he'd been able to find Roy's mother-in-law's phone number in his wallet but he had and he'd dialed it. Now he was waiting to give Joanne a very difficult bit of news.

"Joanne?...hey, it's Johnny" he began.

Roy couldn't find his way out of the drug-induced fog he was currently in. He tried to open his eyes but his lids seemed too heavy. He thought he'd heard Johnny's voice…..calling out to Joanne. _Is Joanne here? _Memories began flooding his thoughts. Joanne and the kids were at her mother's house. He and Johnny had been split up as a team….fighting at the station….Johnny hugging Joanne…."If they're having an affair, when are they getting together? You're on the same shift, Roy" …..Danielle…dinner…screeching tires…..Danielle? …loneliness….darkness….

"Of course, I'll wait here until you get here, Joanne…..drive safely, ok?" He hung up the phone; exhaled and turned around. _Oh Roy, how'd you end up here? _"Roy, if you can hear me, Joanne wants you to know that she's on her way. She'll be here in a couple of hours."

-x-

Joanne was an emotional train wreck. She had briefly told her mother about Roy's accident and explained that she needed to leave the kids there until Roy was back on his feet. Her mother just gave her a hug and wished her a safe trip. She'd never even pretended to like Roy but she loved her daughter and grandchildren and what affected Roy affected them too. Within a half hour, Joanne was on her way to Rampart; unsure of what she'd find but knowing she needed to be at her husband's side right now. She slipped on her sunglasses over her tears and backed out of the driveway.

Soon she was turning into Rampart and heading to the room of the man she loved more than life itself. He needed her now and she'd be there for him. No matter what their future might hold.

-x-

Johnny was lost in thought when Roy's mumble jerked him back to the present. Roy was waking up and he was becoming increasingly upset. "Roy, Roy, take it easy. You've been in an accident. You're going to be fine but you're at Rampart and you've been given some pain medications…Roy, can you hear me?"

"Ja, John?" Roy's voice sounded like his tongue was several inches thick which Johnny knew was the results of the pain medication he'd been given. He did recognize Johnny's voice though so that was a good sign.

"Roy, don't try to talk ok, just try to rest. Joanne will be here any minute." Johnny watched his friend for some sort of reaction to the sound of his wife's name.

"Jo—anne?"

"Yes, Roy, she's on her way." Johnny was feeling encouraged; only to have it shattered a moment later.

"Dan –Danielle?"

Johnny felt like he'd been kicked in the gut. He had to answer Roy though. "She's fine, she'll be going home soon….you just take it easy, ok?"

He felt Roy's grip on his hand relax. He hadn't even realized he'd reached out to his former partner until he felt him let go. _What's going on, Pal? Please talk to me this time, huh?_

Johnny turned at the sound of the door opening and saw Joanne's tear-stained face appear in the entryway. "Hey, he just woke up for a bit" he said walking towards her. He held her only briefly before she turned to run her fingers so lovingly across Roy's forehead.

"Um, Joanne, I'm gonna leave you two alone for a minute ok?" It was a statement more than a question.

She nodded her understanding without ever letting her eyes leave the man lying in the bed. The man whose hand she now held tightly in her own resting it near her cheek. The man who even in a foggy haze of medications recognized the gentle squeeze he felt on his left hand…and the soft wetness that brushed along the back of his hand like the wispy flapping of butterfly wings…..she was crying …..for him.

-x-

John stood outside the door of room 218. He had to meet her; had to see who she was and what Roy saw in her that he didn't see in Joanne. He raised his hand up and gave three swift knocks. He was somewhat surprised when a pleasant voice invited him in.

"Come in" said Danielle.

John really didn't know what he'd expected but he wasn't prepared for what awaited him lying in the hospital bed. Feeling the need to say something to prevent an awkward silence, he spoke "so, how're you feeling?"

Underneath the bruises and bandages, a pretty face responded with a slight smile. "Well, I'm sore but it certainly could have been a lot worse…..um, who are you?"

John realized that she probably didn't know if he was a patient or a member of her medical team.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm John Gage. I, uh, I was one of the paramedics who responded to your accident."

He noticed her looking at his hospital issued scrubs and he felt the need to explain that he'd stayed at the hospital when she and Roy were brought in. She seemed to accept his explanation for his current dress. He didn't want to tell her that his uniform was now soiled with a mixture of hers and Roy's blood.

"Thank you, I appreciate everything you did to help us" she said. _She isn't even trying to hide the fact that she was with Roy._

"Is Roy still doing ok?" she asked but Johnny was no longer looking at her. He was distracted by her brazenness.

"Uh Mr. Gage, is everything with Roy ok?" she repeated with more concern in her voice.

"Yea, actually, yes it is. His wife is with him now so I'm sure he'll be feeling much better soon." There, he'd said it and now stood back waiting. He was not prepared for her reaction to his statement.

-x-

"Oh Roy, what's happening to us?" Joanne wept as she gently brushed his hair back off his forehead. Her touch brought him part of the way out of his darkness. His eyes fluttered and he made an effort to speak but she rested her index finger on his lips. "Don't try to talk, sweetheart. Just rest; I'll be right here when you wake up fully."

"Kidzz" he mumbled and she realized he was wanting to know if she'd brought the children back with her. She fought back the tears but she managed to assure him that the children were at her mother's and she'd go get them as soon as he was able to come home.

"Oh Roy, I really do love you." She whispered even though she knew he may not have heard her.

"Love you, Jo" came the slurred but distinct voice.

She watched through teary eyes as his breathing became deeper and more steady and she knew he was getting some much needed sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Sins of the Father -6

"I am so glad to hear that Joanne is with him. He said she'd gone to her mother's for a few days but he'll feel better with her around, I'm sure." Danielle seemed genuinely happy that Roy's wife was with him again.

Johnny couldn't make sense of what he was hearing. His shock must have been displayed all over his face.

"Mr. Gage, did I say something wrong?" she asked.

"No, uh, no I'm just a little surprised to hear you say it like that." John was stammering and he hated it when his words just wouldn't come out the way he wanted them to.

"Why?" she smiled. "I mean….oh no!" She brought a hand up to cover her mouth. "Mr. Gage, you didn't think that he and I were….I mean that…no!" Her voice made it clear that she was shocked and somewhat offended by his subtle accusation. Tears were threatening to spill onto her hot cheeks.

"Mr. Gage, please leave ok?"

"Look, I'm sorry if I jumped to conclusions but when….." he never got to finish his sentence.

"Please, Mr. Gage, please go. I'm afraid my presence has caused too much confusion. I never should have come here. Please, GO!" she raised her voice but it broke on the last word and she rested her already throbbing head into her hands. She leaned back onto her pillow and then turned over on her side away from him and continued to cry.

Johnny stood dumbfounded by what he'd just seen and heard. He stood there for a moment watching her shoulders shake and some part of him wanted to console her. Then, realizing that he had been asked to leave, he turned to walk out the door.

"Danielle, I'm really sorry that I upset you like this. Really, I'm sorry" he repeated as he backed out of the door.

-x-

Hank Stanley stood outside Roy's hospital room. He'd been briefed by "B" shift's captain and he had no idea what he'd find when he walked in. He already knew that John had stayed with Roy; against Hank's orders. But this was an extreme situation and maybe Roy needed Johnny now; and if that was true then he hoped Roy would realize it too. He knocked somewhat quietly just in case Roy was sleeping. He heard some movement in the room and assumed that John was getting up to open the door. When the door opened though, it was Joanne's face that greeted him.

"Hi, Captain Stanley, thanks for coming" she spoke softly. Roy's sleeping but please come on in."

"Uh, Joanne, I'm a little surprised to see you here" he said, quizzically.

"Johnny called me and told me about the accident so I came immediately….why does that surprise you?" she asked.

"Oh boy…" Hank thought for a moment about how to get out of this situation without revealing too much. He then decided he was already in too deep and just plunged on ahead. "Uh, Joanne, may I ask you a rather personal question?"

"Of course, Captain…what's wrong? You're scaring me." Tears were welling up in her eyes again.

"Joanne, do you know why Roy and John are no longer partners?"

Hank heard an audible gasp and realized that not only did she not know the reason why the duo had been separated; she didn't even know it had happened.

"Cap, when? Why? I had no idea!"

"Johnny didn't tell you?" he continued his probing hoping to get some answers.

"Johnny? Why would Johnny tell me? Roy is my husband! Why didn't he tell me?"

Hank could see that Joanne was getting terribly upset and he knew it was his fault. He'd come this far with it so he might as well go ahead and tell the whole story now.

"Joanne, they had a fight….not a disagreement….I mean a fight! It took the other guys from the shift pulling them off of one another just to keep them from hurting each other badly."

Joanne couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Cap, they're best friends….why?"

Hank inhaled deeply then blew out his breath as he gathered the courage to say what needed to be said.

"Joanne, now don't blow up when I say this ok? I'm only saying it because I'm worried about you two. Johnny thinks that maybe you and Roy have been having a difficult time with your marriage and Roy…..thinks you and John are seeing each other."

"Aack! Captain Stanley!" Joanne was shaking all over now, "How can you say that?"

Joanne was talking much louder than she meant to now and in the excitement neither she nor Hank noticed that Roy's eyes were again fluttering open. He recognized the voices and the fact that Joanne was extremely upset. He could hear Captain Stanley telling her that John was concerned for their marriage. He also heard Cap say that he'd accused Johnny and Joanne of having an affair. Her reaction was one of total shock. She was crying now and he couldn't reach her. She was hurting and he hated it when she was hurting. _Roy, what have you done?_

"Captain Stanley, that would never happen, never! Why would he even think that?"

"Well, he said he saw you and Johnny standing on John's balcony hugging a week or so ago. I told him that it sounded like just a friendly hug but he seemed pretty convinced that you and John were having an affair. One night about a week ago, he attacked John in the apparatus bay. By the time me and the rest of the guys got to them, they were rolling around on the floor like a couple of school boys on a playground. I had to reprimand them both and then separate them onto different shifts." He paused watching her reaction. She turned her back to him and Roy both then but he could see how her shoulders were slumped and her entire body was racked with sobs.

"Cap, I went to Johnny because I was worried about Roy. He's been distant in recent weeks. He won't talk to me and well, I thought maybe he was seeing somebody else. Johnny tried to tell me that Roy wouldn't do that to me but I just didn't know. A few days ago, the kids and I went to my mother's for an extended visit." She sniffed reaching for a tissue to dry her eyes. "Cap, I didn't know he'd lost his best friend…..and then the kids and I left too…." The rest of what she had to say stayed caught in her throat. Her body was overcome by sobs and she leaned her head into the wall of his room.

Hank felt horrible for telling Joanne. She needed to know, of course, but had he done the right thing?

-x-

A familiar knock on Roy's door preceded Johnny's entrance. He was startled to see his Captain and Joanne talking – well Cap was talking and Joanne was crying – and he realized he wasn't supposed to be here.

"Oh uh, Cap..I uh" he was stammering again but not because of a pretty female face this time. He was busted, he knew.

"John, don't worry about it. Forget my order to stay apart ok….looks like you've ignored it anyway," he chuckled.

Johnny felt a sense of relief wash over his entire body. He had a knack for getting himself into some tight jams and he was afraid this was going to be another one. He turned toward Roy's bed then.

"How's our pat….. Roy? Roy you're awake."

The trio immediately turned to Roy's bedside and Joanne grabbed his hand. "Oh sweetheart…" She was struggling to make her words come out without crying.

Roy tried to speak but was having difficulty with his dry mouth. "Joanne, I'll get him some water, ok?" John said. He wasn't sure Roy would be happy about him being here so he preferred to speak directly to Joanne. Johnny quickly left the room to get the pitcher of ice water.

"Roy," Hank started, "you take care of yourself, Pal. The job will be there when you're ready to return."

Johnny returned with the pitcher and a cup. He poured a cup of water and handed it to Joanne for her to hold up to Roy's parched lips. He knew better than to get within arm's reach of him at this point. Joanne's shaky hand lifted the cup to Roy's lips and he sipped enough to allow him to speak.

"Um, fellows, mind if I speak to my wife privately please?" he croaked more than spoke but John and Hank understood him perfectly. They quickly exited the room and stood in the hallway talking.

"Cap, I'm sorry. I know you said to stay apart but our Station got called to the scene early this morning. I just couldn't leave him alone under the circumstances."

"John, I'd have done the same thing. I can't fault you for that," Hank responded.

There was a long pause before Johnny continued. "Cap, you, uh, you know he wasn't alone in the…"

"Yea, Gage…..I got briefed on it from your Captain." Those words stung both of them. Neither one wanted to think that Gage was no longer a member of the "A" shift. Hank just hoped that his paramedic team of DeSoto and Gage would be reunited in the not so distant future. Both men continued leaning against the hall wall not knowing how long Roy and Joanne needed. Neither man wanted to leave without some glimmer of hope that their friends were somehow beginning to heal the brokenness of their marriage.

It took quite some time but eventually, the door opened and a puffy-eyed Joanne walked out. She saw the two men standing in the hallway and her tears began to pour again. She walked over to both of them and fell into Johnny's arms. "Sshhh, Joanne. It's going to be ok" said Gage.

"Yes, it is" she said pulling back and looking at both Hank and John with a hint of a smile.

"Captain, Roy would like to see you for a few minutes. Would you mind sitting with him while Johnny and I go visit someone?"

_Who? Surely not Danielle? _Johnny thought as he gave Joanne a quizzical look.

"I'll be happy too" came Hank's reply as he pushed himself away from the wall and toward Roy's door.

"Joanne, who are we visiting?" Johnny asked but he was afraid he already knew the answer.

She just smiled at Johnny and said, "Well, I called the information desk and I believe she's in Room 218."


	7. Chapter 7

Sins of the Father – 7

"Cap" Roy was visibly shaking and struggling to find the right words, "I don't know where to start."

Hank wasn't sure where to start either. He wanted to ask a thousand questions but he knew he needed to let his senior paramedic say what was on his mind…..if he could.

"Roy, you don't have to say anything right now," he said in a consoling voice.

"I owe you a big apology; I owe all the guys one," Roy managed to say even though his emotions were obviously spent.

"Does that include the one who just walked out of here?" Hank knew that almost sounded like a joke but he needed to know where the two stood with each other.

"Especially Junior," Roy turned his head away from Hank with that comment and Hank could see that he was screwing his eyes shut - but a couple of drops were leaking out no matter how tightly he held them.

Hank felt his own chest constrict at the sound of Roy's nickname for John. Roy was the only one who called John 'Junior' and it was obviously a term of endearment. For the first time in over a week, he felt like there was a good chance that he'd get his entire crew back together on the same shift soon; unless, John was opposed to working with Roy now.

"Roy, just rest ok, Pal? You've been through a very draining afternoon and you've got some healing to do." He saw Roy give a slight shake of his head. Hank couldn't think of anything else to say so he just patted Roy on the shoulder and then leaned back in his chair to wait; hoping Roy would fall asleep and Joanne would soon return.

-x-

Johnny wasn't sure what to expect when Joanne knocked on the door of room 218. He wanted to tell her that he'd just wait outside but he really didn't know how to tell her that he'd already visited the patient in there - or that she'd kicked him out.

"Come in" came that same pleasant voice that he'd heard earlier.

_Oh please don't claw her eyes out, Joanne….it's not what you think….._

Joanne slowly pushed the door open to find a pretty young lady sitting on the hospital bed wearing an outfit quite similar to John's. She was waiting for her taxi to arrive and take her back to her hotel but since her clothing had been soiled from the accident, the hospital had issued her a pair of scrubs too.

"Danielle?" she asked tentatively.

"yes, I'm Danielle" she said and then her eyes darkened as John walked into the room behind Joanne.

"Back for another stab, Mr. Gage?" she asked shifting her eyes from Joanne to John and then to her hands in her lap.

"No, Danielle…" he wanted to say more but nothing came to mind.

Joanne completely missed their verbal exchange; she was standing there staring at Danielle in stunned silence.

_Oh God, here it comes….._thought John as he watched Joanne walk slowly toward the woman sitting on the bed. Then an unexpected smile broke out on Joanne's face catching him completely off guard.

"Danielle," Joanne hesitated only a moment but it was long enough for Danielle to look up at her. "I, um, I'm Joanne…..Roy's told me all about you….and I just wanted to come down and meet you….uh, oh my goodness, you do have his eyes!"

Joanne was standing directly in front of Danielle staring into the same eyes she'd been staring into since she and Roy were in elementary school. Those crystal blues were beginning to fill with tears and Danielle's hand went to her mouth as she looked down again and began to tremble. Huge tears were falling down her cheeks and splashing into her lap. She tried to find her voice but couldn't. Joanne quickly sat down on the bed beside her and wrapped her in a sideways hug. Neither woman spoke for a long moment; a moment of pure agony for John.

He held his fist to his mouth and cleared his throat. "Um, somebody mind clueing me in here?" he said in more of a whisper than his normal speaking voice.

Danielle was still too overcome to speak so Joanne looked up at Johnny, without ever losing her grip on Danielle, and began to explain the circumstances that brought them to this point in their lives.

"Johnny, Danielle is Roy's sister. Roy had no idea she even existed until she wrote him a letter a few weeks ago. They met for the first time last night. He was taking her back to her hotel when the accident happened."

John stood in stunned silence. _The letter Cap gave Roy a few weeks ago. That's when his behavior had begun to change…._

He was lost in thought when Joanne called out to him; obviously for at least the second time.

"Johnny…..don't just stand there. Welcome her into the family." She said with glistening eyes.

"Oh, uh, I don't know if she wants to shake my hand or slap my face," he grinned with a blush. He thought he heard a slight snicker from Danielle who was then looking up at him and holding out her hand.

"Truce?" she asked looking at him with a smile.

"Yea, truce" he said and took her hand into his own. She was still shaking from the excitement but her hand felt so soft against his rugged one. No wonder she'd reacted the way she did when he'd come by a few hours ago. His mind was reeling with questions but they'd have to wait.

"Ms. Gallager, your taxi is here," said the nurse who came into the room with a wheelchair.

"Well, my chariot awaits" Danielle said, to no one in particular. She rose then and eased herself into the wheelchair. "Please tell Roy I never meant to hurt anyone and I am sorry."

"No, I can't do that" came Joanne's surprising answer. "You'll just have to tell him yourself when you come over for dinner when he gets home." Joanne was smiling from ear to ear. "He told me that you've got another week here in L.A. and we're going to spend that time getting to know each other better."

Danielle couldn't hold back the toothy smile that lit up her entire face. She didn't even mind that it made her stitches pull a little. She had just been welcomed into the family by her sister-in-law; something she had never dreamed would happen. She gave Joanne the phone number of the hotel where she was staying and Joanne promised to call and keep her apprised of Roy's condition and when he would be released.

"Now, get some rest and I'll be checking on you too, Danielle, alright?" asked Joanne.

"Alright," Danielle responded with a smile as the nurse stepped behind the wheelchair and began pushing her out of the room and towards the elevator doors; leaving behind Joanne…. and one very confused paramedic.

"Uh, Joanne?" Johnny asked while rubbing his face and chin with his right hand.

"I know, Johnny,….. I know. There's a lot more to this story and I promise to tell you all I know; problem is, there's more to it than Roy is telling me." And for the first time since they'd left Roy's room he saw a shadow cross the face of his former partner's wife – a cloud of worry she'd managed to hide from Danielle but that she could not hide from John.


	8. Chapter 8

Sins of the Father – 8

Joanne called to check on Danielle before they went to sleep last night and again after they got up this morning. Danielle said that she was sore but otherwise doing well. Her emotional state had certainly improved. She was glad to hear that Roy was being released soon and thanked Joanne for the calls.

Roy had a very restful night and was ready to be released the following morning. His pain was being controlled by pills so his IV had been removed and he was handed a pair of crutches to try out.

"I hate these things," he said to Joanne.

"Well, better crutches than a wheelchair," she joked. Besides, I could have lost you, Roy. I'm more than happy to wait on you for a while."

"Joanne,….I don't deserve you." He said as she leaned down to kiss him. He wanted to take her in his arms and just hold her close – never letting go. Her scent lingered even after she pulled away and he cringed as it quickly faded.

"Joanne…..I love you so much…I'm so sorry that I shut you out. I just didn't know how to tell you…or what you'd think….or."

"Roy, don't…..please?" Now wasn't the time or place to get into a long conversation about his sister's arrival. They'd have time for that after they got home.

"Johnny isn't speaking to me, Joanne." He said matter-of-factly. "I really messed up with him." He heaved a sigh and looked up at her. There wasn't anything she could say to make him feel better. John had left the hospital yesterday without returning to Roy's room. He and Joanne had parted ways at the elevator doors; neither really knowing what to say to the other.

-x-

The ride home was a quiet one. When Joanne and Roy turned onto their street, they were both surprised to see John's white Land Rover parked in front of their house. Joanne stopped the car and got out to help Roy when suddenly the front door flew open and two blonde haired kids came running out to greet their parents.

"Kids, how did you get home?" asked Joanne.

"Uncle Johnny came and got us," Chris answered while opening the car door for his father.

As if on cue, John walked out of the DeSoto residence and over to the passenger's side of the car. "Need a hand, Roy?" he asked extending an arm for Roy to grab on to as he exited the car seat. The extended arm of his best friend meant more to him than just simple assistance to a man on crutches. It was an offer of friendship and perhaps eventually forgiveness.

-x-

Joanne had pretty much had to wrestle the kids to bed that night. Both of them wanted to stay up with their father. Eventually, she got them bathed, into bed and lights out. She then got to work in the kitchen. There wasn't much to clean up. Johnny had bought pizza for them for dinner so she wouldn't have to cook. She'd be forever grateful to him for his thoughtfulness. She could hear the two men talking in their living room and it felt good to have everyone under the same roof for the first time in a long time. As she was heading back to join the men, she overheard Roy saying something to John. She hesitated long enough to hear him asking Johnny to forgive him for everything – the fight, the reprimand, the change in shift and finally the affair accusation. She lingered long enough to hear Johnny accept Roy's apology without hesitation.

"Roy, you've been like a brother to me for years; hell you've even saved my life on multiple occasions. I don't hold any grudges or anything against you, I swear. I just don't understand why you didn't tell Joanne or me about Danielle?"

_Oh no, I forgot to call her and let her know Roy was coming home, _Joanne thought to herself.

"Honey, I'm going to call Danielle and let her know you're home ok?" she called out to Roy as she headed to her purse to retrieve the number.

"Ok,…..please tell her I'll call her in the morning. I'm pretty tired tonight." He was telling her the truth. He was tired but he still had a lot to tell Joanne and Johnny. They deserved to hear it all from him before they moved forward with establishing some type of relationship with Danielle. He hoped she'd understand.

"Roy, I need to go and let you get some sleep in your own bed." Johnny was standing and stretching his back when Roy interrupted him.

"Johnny, please stay a little longer. I need to talk to you and Joanne. I want the two of you to know what's been going on in my head lately and …..well, I'm not sure I can say it all twice…..please?"

John looked at his friend – bruised and broken – and immediately eased back down into his chair. He realized that something serious was about to happen and Roy wasn't shutting him out this time. No, Roy was inviting him to be a part of it; and he wouldn't let Roy down.

-x-

Danielle was asleep when the phone rang. She awoke with a start and felt her head wound protesting her efforts to get out of bed to answer the phone.

"Hello?"

"Danielle, hi…it's Joanne."

"Hi Joanne, how's Roy?"

"He's doing great, Danielle. We made it home a little while ago and he's about to head off to bed as soon as Johnny leaves. He wanted me to tell you that he'll call you tomorrow so you two can talk some more ok? He's pretty tired right now."

"Sure, that sounds good. I'm a little beat myself." Danielle didn't dare tell Joanne that her call had interrupted her sleep. She was just happy to have been contacted again. When last they'd spoken, she thought she'd picked up on a little weariness in Joanne's voice. She hoped she was wrong.

"Thanks for calling, Joanne. I'll look forward to hearing from Roy tomorrow."

Joanne hung up the phone expecting to return to her living room to find Roy asleep on the couch. Instead, she found Roy sitting and staring at nothing while John was in the kitchen preparing him a glass of water.

"He asked me to stay for a little while, Joanne. He wants to talk to us both. I thought he might need some water before we get started." He explained while holding up the glass of water with a few ice cubes floating in it. She raised her eyebrows at him and they both headed back into the living room; to face something that neither of them would have ever expected.


	9. Chapter 9

Sins of the Father – 9

John handed Roy the glass of water as Joanne sat down next to him. He set the glass on a coaster beside the couch and took a deep breath.

"Roy," Johnny started saying as he sat down in the chair on the other side of Roy. "We don't have to do this now. You need rest."

"Johnny, I can't rest until I get all this out, ok?" He realized he sounded curt and he didn't mean to but this was difficult enough without putting it off any longer.

Joanne and John exchanged worried glances as she reached over and grasped Roy's hand in hers. She slowly began stroking the back of his hand with her thumb and felt him squeeze back. He inhaled deeply and blew his breath out with a sigh. He stared into the air in front of him and began.

"Almost a month ago, Cap handed me a letter during roll call. It was from someone named Danielle Gallager. I didn't know who that was and was shocked when I began reading it. I mean, we get Thank You cards every once in a while so that's what I was expecting, you know?" He was still staring at nothing as Johnny shook his head in agreement.

"Anyway, when I read it, she explained that she was 23 years old and had been born out of wedlock in 1952. Her mother raised her alone which was tough back then. When she was sixteen her mother finally told her who her biological father was…..Daniel Roy DeSoto ."

"Oh my, I didn't even catch that she was named after your father, Roy." Joanne said still gripping her husband's hand. She had already heard this part of the story back in his hospital room.

"Oh yea, I noticed that immediately. Anyway, she said her mother had a picture of him in his Army uniform. She showed it to me and….it really was my father."

Roy stopped to take a drink of the water that Johnny had thoughtfully brought to him. Sitting the glass back down, he continued.

"She said that her mother and my father had been seeing each other back in 1951. Her mother knew that my father was married but he'd told her he was getting a divorce. He changed his mind after a few months and moved back home with his wife and son – my mother and me. After he left she discovered that she was pregnant. She called him at work one day to tell him and…" Roy gulped.

"He sent her some money and asked her to take care of it. I read the letter myself and it was my father's handwriting." Roy was trembling now and Johnny and Joanne both looked at him with concern. This was all new information for Joanne. He'd only given her minimum details back at the hospital yesterday; enough for her to understand exactly who Danielle was – and more importantly, who she wasn't.

"Roy, are you ok? You need something, pain pills?" John asked unable to hide the worried tone in his voice.

Roy just shook his head negatively and forged on; tears welling up in his eyes again.

"He wanted her mother to have an abortion. Of course, it was illegal but there were a few folks around who were willing to do it for a hefty price. A lot of women died from those procedures back then. How…" He had to stop to regain his composure. He took a deep breath and started again. "How could the man I grew up loving and wanting to be just like….?" Roy had stopped trying to hold back the tears now. They were streaming down his face. He never finished his sentence. "I remember being in first grade and having him leave for a while. It seemed like forever to me because I was just a little kid, you know? I was so happy when he came back but I had no idea he'd cheated on my mother. I had no idea he'd fathered another child. I had no idea….." His voice trailed off amid the tears and the gasps for air between sobs. Joanne was leaning into him with both arms wrapped around his chest. She was crying too.

"Roy," the voice was Johnny's. "You were only a child. You had no reason to know or even suspect something like that. You were just a little boy." John continued trying to calm the storm that was raging inside the heart of his friend.

"I didn't know what to say to her. She was sitting there in front of me with these love letters from my own father to someone who wasn't my mother. She was his …mistress. Because of that, Danielle grew up in the poorest conditions without a father because he was with me…..how am I supposed to feel about something like that?" He was looking from Johnny to Joanne and back to Johnny again; neither answered his question.

"My heart breaks for her; for all she missed out on growing up; for the way she grew up. Then I look at her and there's no denying it; she's my sister; my half-sister anyway. I mean, everything makes sense when I look at the time line. She has his picture, his letters, and even the letter to her mother asking her mother to 'take care of it.' And yet, she wants to find out more about him. I mean, why doesn't she hate him for what he did? She wants to visit his grave for Christ's sake!"

Again, Roy had to take a breather and another drink of water. He didn't get an answer this time either.

"She said that when her mother explained all of this to her, she mentioned that her father – our father – had a son. She even told her my name and how old I was then. Her mother begged her not to interfere with our life. That's why she didn't contact me until now. A few months ago she hired a private investigator to find him. I think a part of her was hoping that Dad was still living and might actually want to see her. How can she feel that way?"

He wasn't expecting either of them to say anything but it was Johnny who broke the silence.

"Roy, maybe she's forgiven him." He hoped Roy didn't think he was being a smart aleck with that comment. He was very serious with his statement.

"He doesn't deserve her forgiveness."

Roy said with bitterness in his voice. He couldn't go on. He was crying so hard he nearly gagged. Johnny jumped up and ran to the bathroom to get a wash cloth. He wet it with cool water and retuned to find Roy hanging on to Joanne like a drowning person holds on to a rescuer. His head was buried in the gentle curve of her neck and she was caressing his back and shoulders. Johnny hated to interrupt the tender moment but Roy obviously wasn't finished with his story. He eased back to his seat handing Joanne the wet cloth as he walked by them. She pulled back from Roy slightly and began drying his tears with the cloth. He responded by straightening back up in his seat and taking a ragged breath. Squeezing Joanne's hand so hard that she winced; he continued.

"When the PI told her that her father was deceased, she decided to try to find me instead."

He hesitated for a long moment before continuing. "The other day, when I took the kids to the park…" he began and John and Joanne again exchanged glances. They knew where he was headed. "I had decided to try to talk to you, Junior…about Danielle. The kids had fallen asleep so I headed to your apartment. When I turned in and saw the two of you embracing…well, I just lost it. I looked at the kids and I saw myself and Danielle. I looked at the two of you and I saw my father and Danielle's mother." He was sobbing again now. "All I could think about was somehow hurting you; both of you." He paused for breath. "Oh, God….I'm losing my mind."

"No sweetheart, no." Joanne didn't know what to say so she just continued with her soothing touch; encouraging him to continue.

"Johnny, when I walked out of the dayroom the morning I called Danielle; well, I don't know what came over me. I saw you standing there and I ….I was so angry, I just…."

"Sshh, Roy, I understand. You uh, you caught me off guard but it makes sense to me now. It's over ok? No hard feelings." John hoped with every fiber of his being that it truly was over.

"No, Johnny….no." Roy couldn't look at the man for whom he'd caused so much trouble. "You can't just let it go like it never happened. You….you've …"

As hard as Roy tried to finish that sentence he couldn't. He wanted to say that he needed to pay the price for what he'd done. In some way, John needed to hurt him the way he'd hurt John. He didn't know how to put that into words though and just sat there trembling. He didn't deserve John's forgiveness and certainly didn't deserve his friendship and yet here he sat in Roy's home as supportive and loving as a brother.

Johnny leaned slightly forward placing a hand on Roy's shoulder. "Roy, I…..forgive…..you." He emphasized his words hoping that Roy understood how sincere he was. He really didn't hold any grudge toward the broken man who now sat in tears next to him.

"Roy," Joanne started, "I'm sorry too." She sniffed as tears threatened. "I walked out on you at a time when you needed me the most." Her tears were flowing now and mixing with Roy's as they sat with their heads and cheeks touching; both staring at their intertwined hands. Roy was holding her left hand and running his thumb over her wedding ring.

"Joanne, you didn't know and there's no reason to say you're sorry." He was more composed now; his breathing more steady and less ragged.

Johnny was absolutely floored by what had just taken place. Roy had poured out his heart to them. He'd sobbed through a truly gut-wrenching apology to John. John had forgiven him but Roy didn't seem to accept it. Then to top it all off; Joanne had apologized to Roy and he'd basically blown her off! He didn't accept her apology and more importantly he hadn't offered her one either. _Damn it, Roy….just say it, _he thought to himself. He waited through several moments of uncomfortable silence before he stood up.

"Listen, Roy… Joanne, I really need to go. Roy, would you like for me to help you get to bed?" He asked hoping Roy would allow him to assist. Joanne was tired and not as strong as Johnny. Roy politely declined the offer. Johnny looked at Joanne and knew that she was thinking the same thing he was - whatever was going on with Roy wasn't over…and it involved more than just meeting a previously unknown half-sister.


	10. Chapter 10

Sins of the Father – 10

The next few days passed in a blur. Johnny had to work a very busy shift. He called to check on Roy a couple of times; both times Roy still seemed quiet and distracted. Roy did tell him about his visits from Danielle and how they'd looked through multiple photo albums and he'd told her countless stories about their father. She had asked for copies of some of the pictures and he'd agreed to send them to her when he was back on his feet. She'd met his kids and was introduced simply as a friend. The kids seemed to accept the explanation without question. The one person Roy didn't mention was Joanne. _Things still aren't right between you two are they?_ His mind was drifting back to that first night Roy had come home from the hospital. He still couldn't make sense of the way Roy had acted toward Joanne.

"Um, Johnny, can I ask a big favor from you please?" Roy really hated to ask but he still couldn't drive.

"Sure, Roy, just name it."

"Well, Danielle needs to leave tomorrow heading back to Mesa and….she wants to know if I'll take her to the cemetery to visit Dad's grave. I can't drive yet and Joanne needs to stay at home with the kids and….well, I'd really like to have some support with this visit. It might get, um, well emotional for Danielle, you know?"

"Yea, I can imagine. Sure, just tell me what time to pick you up," came John's reply.

"Well, maybe 9:00 am? If that's not too early. She needs to get on the road fairly early and I don't know how long she'll want to stay there."

"Sure, Roy, I'll be at your place by 9:00 am." Johnny promised.

"Thank you, Johnny. I really appreciate this, man."

With that, the two men ended their phone call. Johnny was still convinced there was more to this than Roy was telling. Perhaps tomorrow he'd have an opportunity to talk to him…..without Joanne hearing. He had some questions …..and he wasn't sure Joanne needed to hear the answers.

-x-

Johnny woke up bright and early and headed on over to the DeSoto's earlier than planned. He thought Roy might want to go buy some flowers or something before they left for the cemetery. When he arrived, he could hear raised voices coming from inside the residence but he couldn't quite make out the words. He recognized the voices though. Roy and Joanne were having a rather heated discussion.

He hesitated only a moment before knocking; hoping he'd be able to intervene in a positive way.

-x-

"Joanne, don't push me, alright? This is exactly why I didn't tell you about Danielle. You overreact to everything!" Roy was sitting at the kitchen table; his back facing the kitchen sink where Joanne stood.

"Roy, please hold your voice down. The kids can hear you. All I want to know is why you went to talk to Johnny instead of me? I'm your wife, Roy!" Joanne was fighting her emotions. She had been deeply hurt a few nights ago when Roy admitted that he'd gone to Johnny to talk about Danielle instead of telling her.

"Roy, I said I was sorry for going to my mother's. I can see you're still angry about that but damn it, Roy. You didn't even trust me enough to tell me what was going on with you. I could have helped, Roy. I could have been there…." She stopped then turning back to the sink to finish the breakfast dishes. Roy sat drinking his coffee in silence until a knock at the door interrupted his thoughts.

Joanne threw her dish towel down on the counter and huffed as she walked to the door. Opening it, she saw Johnny standing there; a concerned look on his face. He could tell she'd been crying; and he noticed that the person who most likely had drawn out her tears was sitting at the kitchen table looking totally unconcerned.

"Come on in, Johnny," she said wiping her cheeks with the backs of her hands.

He didn't ask what had happened. He just gave her a slight nod and walked on over to the table to greet Roy.

"Want some coffee, Junior?" Roy asked.

"Not now, maybe later. I thought maybe you'd like to leave a little early and go pick up some flowers for the cemetery." John was hoping Roy would agree. He feared his friend's love for his father might be diminishing.

"Actually, I'd rather not. But thanks anyway." Roy gulped the last bit of his coffee and asked Johnny to hand him his crutches so they could leave.

Joanne kept her back turned to the two men as she washed the last of the dishes. '_But thanks anyway.' What about my thanks, Roy? All Johnny has to do is OFFER to do something for you and you thank him. No matter what I do, I can't get a thanks from you. Nothing but complaints and yelling and…._ She heaved a heavy sigh; even though Roy wasn't having an affair, she still wasn't sure that their marriage would survive Danielle.

-x-

Johnny put Roy's crutches in the back of his Rover and walked around to the driver's side to get in.

"So, are we picking up Danielle or is she meeting us somewhere?" He asked as he turned the key and backed the Rover out of the DeSoto's driveway.

"We need to meet her at her hotel. She's going to follow us so she can head on out after we leave the cemetery." Roy was looking straight ahead and offered nothing more in the way of conversation until they reached the hotel.

Danielle was just putting her bags in her car. Over these last few days the bruising on her forehead had started to fade. She really was an attractive young woman. The more Johnny looked the more features he could see in her that he also saw in Roy. _Must be strange, Pally._ He thought to himself. Danielle saw them drive up and walked over to John's side of the Rover.

"Hi, John…Hi Roy" she offered with a bright smile. "How are you feeling today?" Her question was directed at Roy who responded with a big smile….and a huge lie.

"I'm feeling great, Danielle. You?"

"Much better; physically and mentally too." She had already told Roy that seeing him and getting to know him had helped fill a void she'd had for her entire life.

Unfortunately, her presence had created a void in Roy's life.

"You ready?" Johnny asked. She nodded while offering him a toothy smile and curling strands of hair behind her ear in a slightly flirtatious manner. Johnny couldn't help but smile back at her.

"Well, follow me," he grinned and rolled up his window while he waited for her to crank up her car and pull in behind him.

-x-

The trip to the cemetery was as silent as the one to the hotel and John was getting worried.

"Roy, are you sure you're up to this? If not, I can walk with her to the grave." John wasn't convinced that Roy was ready to walk that distance on crutches…..nor ready to come face to face with this father – in a manner of speaking.

"I'll make it, Junior."

John entered through the main gate of the cemetery. It had been a few years but he still remembered approximately where the grave was located. He'd been a pall bearer at Mr. DeSoto's funeral. He pulled his Rover up as close to the grave as he could to lessen the number of steps Roy had to make. He then got out and retrieved Roy's crutches. Danielle was walking up to the passenger's side of Johnny's Rover as he came around the back, crutches in hand. Together, the three of them headed toward the third row of markers. Roy moved ahead of Johnny and Danielle. Danielle was carrying a small bouquet of blue and purple flowers. Roy stopped momentarily and then looked behind him at Danielle. She understood and moved close enough to read the inscription. **Daniel Roy DeSoto 1915 – 1973**

Roy noticed a small concrete bench a few graves over and headed to it. He needed to sit down. Johnny walked beside him giving Danielle some private time at her father's grave. He and Roy sat in silence, again, while watching Danielle lay the bouquet at the base of the marker. She traced her fingers over the letters in his name and then wiped away a single tear. Her visit was brief and she turned and walked toward the bench where her brother and his friend sat. She thanked Johnny for all he'd done since the accident. She then turned to her big brother who was doing his best to stand; with a little assistance from his best friend. They embraced for a long moment. She truly felt his acceptance of her. She stood back with her hands on Roy's upper arms holding him at arm's length; taking in fully the face that looked so much like the picture she had of her father. Tears threatened to spill once more but this time they were happy tears.

"Roy…." She sniffed. "Thank you so much for everything. I'm sorry about the accident and all the confusion, and…."

"Hey, hey…..no apologies, ok…..sis? I'm so glad to know about you and to get to meet you. Please come back to visit us again soon." Roy meant what he said and she could tell.

"I will, and you and your family need to come visit me in Mesa too, ok?"

He nodded and embraced her again. "Please call me and let me know you made it home safely, ok?"

"Will do" she replied with a slight giggle. For the first time in her life, she felt like a 'little sister'.

-x-

Roy and John watched her make her way to her car and drive away; waving to them as she exited through the large gate. Roy placed the crutches under his arms and began the trek back to Johnny's Rover. Once he was seated with his crutches stowed away in the backseat, Johnny walked over to the driver's side of the vehicle. He got in and stuck the key in the ignition but only rested his hand on it. He didn't turn it. He knew he needed to talk to Roy and now was as good a time as any. They were alone and Roy wasn't going anywhere unless Johnny took him. He didn't know how to start the conversation and Roy noticed his hesitancy.

"Problem?" he asked.

Johnny let out a sigh and turned to his former partner. "Yea, Roy, there is a problem."

Johnny began recounting every detail that confused him. He wanted to know why Roy hadn't told Joanne about Danielle immediately. Why hadn't he accepted Joanne's apology for taking the kids to her mother's house? Why hadn't he apologized to Joanne for his part in their problems? On and on and on the questions poured out of him. When he finally stopped asking them, one right after another, he leaned his head back on the headrest and after a few moments looked over at his friend.

Roy was still staring out the windshield. He had no sign of emotion on his face. Johnny had no idea what he was thinking and it frustrated him even more. He finally gave up and reached for his key again but Roy's hand grabbed his forearm and stopped him. John could feel Roy trembling as he pulled John's hand back away from the ignition. Johnny looked over at Roy and saw his chin begin to quiver.

"Roy, it's like you're trying to punish Joanne for something your father did. I mean, help me out here, Roy?"

"Junior…please take me home."

"No, now damn it, Roy, this has to end here and now. Joanne loves you and you're…" John paused for a long moment before he continued. "Roy, do you still love her?"

"She's my wife, Johnny….."

"That wasn't my question, Roy. Do you still love Joanne?"

John could see Roy biting his lower lip as he looked down into his lap. His answer wasn't audible but he did nod his head affirmatively.

"Then I'll ask you again. What has she done to deserve you treating her like this?"

Suddenly, the answer was as clear to John as the noon day sun. He began again; this time with conviction in his voice. "Everybody, even you, thinks I'm just some…..oh wait, wait…um,… what were the words you said to Chet that time,…..'a likable nut'. Well maybe I am, but John Gage is deeper than anyone thinks. I can see what you're doing and I won't let you spiral out of control until you push away the very people who love you the most, Roy. I won't do it."

He continued, "your father isn't alive now; you can't punish him. So you're trying to punish the one person you know of who's the most like him. You aren't punishing Joanne at all, are you? You're punishing yourself!"

"Johnny…I'm, ah…..I'm….so…..scared", sobbed Roy. John couldn't believe what he was hearing. Roy DeSoto was a lot of things but scared wasn't one of them. He was a firefighter and a family man with strong personal convictions.

"Roy, what exactly is it you're afraid of?"

Roy took a jagged breath while wiping his eyes. "Johnny, there's nothing on earth more important to me than my family. You asked me if I still love Joanne and the answer is YES, more and more every day. But Johnny, how can she still love me? I don't deserve her or the kids or…or...your friendship either." He looked up then but turned his head as if looking out the passenger window instead of looking at Johnny.

"Roy, things seemed to be going so well at the hospital between you two. Help me understand, please?" John pleaded.

"Johnny, all my life I've heard how much I looked like my father. How I walked like him. How my voice was like his. How my mannerisms were like his. Walking down 'Memory Lane' this last week with Danielle has just made it even more real. And ever since I was a little boy, I wanted to be just like him." His voice broke then and for the first time, John understood Roy's way of thinking.

"Roy, your father made a few bad decisions but they weren't your fault. You don't have to repeat his mistakes." Roy's reaction told Johnny he'd hit pay dirt. He'd finally uncovered the true reason for Roy's uncharacteristic behavior.

"Roy, listen to me…..you are not your father. You loved him; I know you did. You still do and that won't change no matter what happened 24 years ago. Roy, none of us is perfect but…"

"That's exactly the problem, John." He was gritting his teeth now as he spoke. "No one can tell me that I won't do exactly what my father did when I reach that age. Danielle's mother was Dad's 'midlife crisis'. Johnny, I don't want to do something like that to my family."

"If you don't want to - then you won't; it's up to you. But the way things are headed now, you won't have to worry about it…because they won't be around when you reach that age."

Johnny hoped Roy was listening. "Alright, I'm stepping out on a limb here but…..well, hell, I'm going to say something that's very personal and then I'll take you home, ok?" Roy didn't answer.

Johnny inhaled deeply before plunging into the icy water head first.

"Roy, somehow I think you feel that if you deny yourself physical intimacy with Joanne that you are punishing your father don't you?" He didn't wait for an answer. "He didn't deserve the love, the tenderness your mother gave him did he? He betrayed her with another woman. He shouldn't have enjoyed physical pleasures should he? That's what you're thinking. You're thinking that by denying yourself that same feeling that you are punishing your father; taking that away from him somehow. Now, I'm sure as hell no shrink but to me it makes sense."

Johnny was at a loss for words now. He knew what he was trying to say but the words just wouldn't come out right. He was floundering in a way that would've given the phantom a lot of material to work with but…

"Ja-Johnny…..it's too late isn't it?"

" Too late for what, Roy?"

"Joanne and me," he said almost in a whisper.

Johnny reached out to Roy; placing his hand on the back of the older man's neck. "No, Roy, it isn't too late. I'm telling you she loves you. She told me so."

John saw a hint of a smile pass quickly across Roy's face. It was fleeting but it had been there. And it gave Johnny an idea…a bit sneaky….but an idea loaded with 'Gage charm'.

He shared his plan with Roy as they drove home; stopping by a florist shop on the way. Roy began to get a little color in his cheeks as they neared his house. They pulled into the driveway and John cut the engine; he was smiling to himself. He reached over with a devilish grin and touched two fingers to the inside of Roy's wrist. "Yep, you want to" he chuckled.

Even Roy was smiling then. "What are you talking about, Junior?"

"You've got a pulse, you want to." He said nothing else; just gave Roy a quick knowing wink as he got out helping him with his crutches.

He allowed Roy to lead the way into the house while he carried the bouquet hidden behind Roy's back. Joanne was resting on the couch when the two walked in. The week with Roy had been emotionally draining and she hadn't slept well for several days. She sat up when she heard them walking into the house; preparing herself for the next round. Roy leaned one of his crutches against the wall and reached behind his back. Johnny placed the bouquet in Roy's empty hand and then turned to go find the kids.

He found them in their rooms; Chris was working on a painting project while his little sister was having a tea party with her dolls and stuffed animals. "Hey guys, come on. Uncle Johnny is taking you to get some burgers and milkshakes and then we're going to a movie." Amid shouts and hugs, they headed back down the hallway and out the door to his Rover. He peeped into the living room on his way out and noticed that Roy and Joanne were lip-locked. _Don't do anything I wouldn't do, Roy_, he laughed to himself as he headed out the door.

-x-

Five hours later, after burgers, shakes, a movie and time at the park; Johnny and the kids drove back up at the DeSoto residence. Johnny was a little nervous wondering if his plan had been successful. He hoped that Roy and Joanne had begun repairing their relationship. The kids ran ahead of him with excited chatter; anxious to tell their parents of the fun they'd had with their Uncle Johnny. When John finally walked over the threshold of the DeSoto household, he realized that things were just as they should be. Chris was talking to Joanne while Roy held his little princess on the knee of his non-broken leg. Johnny couldn't help but notice that both Joanne and Roy were smiling; while holding hands sitting on their couch. Joanne looked up at him and mouthed the words 'Thank You' to Johnny as Roy, blushing, gave him a knowing wink. Johnny gave them a sheepish wave as he backed up toward the doorway.

"Oh Junior," Roy called out before Johnny left. "Cap called and said you're back on "A" shift at the next rotation." John gave an affirmative nod as he walked out the door. He made his way back to his Rover with a newfound spring in his step. _Welcome back, Roy!_


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

A couple of hours after Johnny and the kids left, Roy and Joanne were lying in bed, breathless and glowing.

"Roy, I was so scared…..um, that we'd never be together like this again, you know?"

Joanne was lying on her left side tucked neatly into the space beside Roy and her head resting on his shoulder. She was slowly tracing soft circle around his bare chest as they lay quietly together. Roy inhaled deeply; easing his head off the pillow to kiss her gently on top of her head while holding her closer to his side.

"Love you, Jo" he whispered. "More and more every day."

She nuzzled her head into the crook where his arm and shoulder met and he felt her tears splashing onto his bare skin. He held her for a long moment and allowed her to quietly sob; releasing the fears she'd been living with over the last few weeks. He owed her that much. Actually, he owed her much more than that; he'd never be able to repay her for sticking with him through it all. Many women would have packed up and left for good but not Joanne DeSoto – not his rock.

As her tears seemed to diminish, he reached over with his free hand and wiped away the residual moisture. "Never again, Jo. I promise….never again will I keep things from you and push you away. Please, Baby, please forgive me."

She pushed herself up on her left elbow and looked directly into his blue eyes. He was sincerely asking her to forgive him. She raised up a little further knowing that with his cast on she was the one in control. She slowly leaned her face toward his and just before their lips met she whispered, "Forgiven."

-x-

Roy sat on the couch amazed at this turn of events. Joanne was happier than he'd seen her in a very long time; smiling as she quickly moved around in the kitchen preparing cold drinks for both of them. She was so beautiful…and he was a very lucky man. She waltz into the living room handing him his glass of soda while curling up next to him. She reached down and wrapped her fingers around his hand and he responded by opening his hand and intertwining his fingers with hers.

"There's one more thing I've got to do, Joanne," he began. "When I was in the hospital and you and Johnny went down to meet with Danielle…..well, Cap stayed with me and we had a good talk before you two came back. He told me something that I hadn't known until then and it's had me thinking."

Joanne pulled her knees up to her chest and turned sideways so she could look directly at him. She didn't know what was coming but it was obviously something very critical to Roy – making it critical to her as well.

"Go on, Roy. I'm listening."

He looked at her then and a quick wave of embarrassment wisked across his features.

"Well, I told Cap that I was the one who started the fight with Johnny that night at the station. I mean, I felt like I needed to confess that to him because, well, Johnny gets blamed for all kinds of stuff and…..usually he's guilty." Roy let a half smile cross his face as images flashed in his mind's eye.

"But this time, it was all my fault and I just felt like Cap needed to know that."

"Well, Roy, that is certainly admirable of you and I'm sure Johnny appreciates it too."

Roy huffed before continuing. "See, Jo, Cap told me there in the hospital that he knew I started the fight. He knew it when he and the guys had pulled us apart…but he didn't say anything…..still hasn't said anything to Johnny about it."

"You've lost me, Roy. You mean that Johnny doesn't know that you told Cap you started it?" Confusion completely clouded her face encouraging Roy to continue.

"See, Cap took both of us into his office, separately of course, and asked us what happened. We each gave him our version of events except, Johnny never once tried to get me fired. He never told Cap that I just jumped him. Cap told me that Johnny just skirted the issue and began telling him that he was worried about you and me."

"Well, Roy, I don't understand. Why didn't Cap just tell Johnny that he knew you started it? I mean, what good did it do for him to just let this all play out like it has?" Joanne was still trying to put the pieces together.

Roy looked at her with regret in his eyes. "Cap wanted me to take responsibility for my own actions. To admit I had been wrong…not just about starting a fight either….about us. He wanted me to break down this wall I had built up between you and me. He figured that if I could admit to both he and Johnny that the fight was my fault that maybe, I'd admit to myself that I was wrong about you and Johnny too."

Understanding began to dawn on Joanne's face and a smile crept across her features. "Then do it, Roy. Tell Johnny and Cap that you take responsibility for the fight. I think they'll both understand and maybe it'll set things right between you two….or three." She grinned; reaching behind her to pick up the phone and hand it to him. "Call him" she encouraged.

Roy knew Cap's number by heart and placed his fingers into the holes for the corresponding numbers and pulled the dial around. Once the last number was dialed he placed the receiver to his ear and waited for Cap to answer.

"Hello, Stanley residence," came Cap's booming voice.

"Cap, hey, it's Roy…..you got a minute?"

The call lasted about twenty minutes during which time Cap praised Roy for the strides he'd made both physically and emotionally. He also agreed to the two requests Roy had for him.

"Well, Roy, I think I need to call Gage and tell him to return to "A" shift at the next rotation…if you're sure."

"I'm sure, Cap, but uh, will you let me tell him?"

"Oh, sure, Pal, no problem. Just tell him I called you to say that he can retu…."

"Uh, no Cap, I can't do that." Roy interrupted.

There was silence on the other end as Cap tried to make sense out of what he was hearing.

"Cap, you didn't call me. I called you and well, I can't lie to John."

Cap let out a chuckle at his senior paramedic's comments. "Ok, Roy, I understand. Hang up and let me call you back then." They both let out a round of laughs but once Roy hung up the phone, it immediately rang again.

"Hello?"

"Roy, Hank here, please tell Gage that he can return to "A" shift at the next rotation. Bye" and he hung up. Roy looked over at Joanne smiling as the front door suddenly opened and the two younger DeSotos came rushing in, followed by their Uncle Johnny, talking endlessly about the fun they'd had on their outing.

-x-

Several weeks later Roy was given his 'return to duty' slip by Dr. Brackett. He walked into Station 51 on that first morning heading straight to Cap's office before he went to the locker room to change. He gave Cap his 'fitness for duty' sheet and Cap handed him the paper he'd been looking forward to receiving for the last few weeks. This was the second of Roy's requests; the first being for Gage to be brought back to "A" shift. The men shook hands, "Welcome back, Roy" Hank said as he opened his office door for Roy to exit.

Roy held the pristine paper in his hand and walked out the back bay door to wait for Johnny. After only a few minutes, he heard the familiar sound of the Rover accelerating as Johnny made the turn toward the parking spaces behind the station. He exited his vehicle with the biggest grin Roy had ever seen on the young man's face. "Welcome back, Roy!" he shouted.

"Thanks, Junior…..uh, I've got something for you here," Roy said handing Johnny the paper.

John's eyes quickly scanned it and his smile faded. When he finished reading it, he looked up at Roy shocked. "Roy, you didn't have to do this."

"I know, Johnny….but it's the right thing to do. I don't want to ever have anything coming between us so please, just sign it and give it back to Cap, ok?"

John could tell that Roy was as serious about this as he'd ever been about anything in his life. He fished into his shirt pocket and retrieved a pen. Leaning down on the hood of his vehicle, he signed the paper that was a revocation of his reprimand for poor conduct. Roy had assumed total responsibility for the events of that night, even though it meant he'd spent a few days on leave without pay while he was recovering from the accident. He knew that the reason Johnny hadn't ratted him out to the Cap was because John knew the penalty and he didn't want Roy's family to suffer. Roy didn't want that to be the case any longer. He'd faced his demons head on and he'd won. His wife had forgiven him. His best friend had forgiven him. He'd accepted his sister into his life. His crewmates had forgiven him and he'd forgiven himself. He'd accepted responsibility for what he'd done but he no longer felt the heavy hand of guilt for the sins his father had committed so many years ago; he'd even forgiven his father. He turned then to walk back into the locker room to change into his uniform flanked by Gage who threw a friendly arm around his shoulder saying, "Welcome back, Roy."


End file.
